Introducing Eagle Minizz
In this day and age, the average human attention span is getting shorter by the day. We’ve gotten used to constant dopamine with social...
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A student-written, student-edited, and student-produced publication
Malcolm Wade
- Feb 27
- 2 min
I Will Squish Jake From Statefarm Between My Fingers
Words cannot describe the petulant hatred that festers inside me whenever this man appears on my television screen. No, good neighbors...
61 views1 comment
Shepherd Lee Williams
- Feb 27
- 3 min
Matt Walsh reported harassing ERHS students with questions: “What even is a woman?”
Panic struck Eagle Rock High School campus this morning after political commentator and The Daily Wire correspondent, Matt Walsh,...
157 views0 comments
Vivienne Freeman
- Feb 27
- 1 min
Exchange 1914
Eagle Rock High School recently launched their “Foreign Exchange Student Program” where they have invited students from Europe to visit...
177 views1 comment
Ivy Klein and Jasper Mann
- Jan 28
- 1 min
Things Get a Little Jaspooky - Episode 1 : The Black Phone
Recently, my girlfriend Ivy, who is obsessed with horror movies and media, discovered that I, being a coward, will literally scream at...
92 views0 comments
Meron Worku
- Jan 19
- 2 min
All I Want for Christmas is a mute button
So. Mariah Carey. Alleged Queen of Christmas, occasional dolphin whisperer, dubbed the “Songbird Supreme”-- she does it all. Now think of...
63 views1 comment
Metzli Esparza
- Jan 17
- 3 min
Official Santa-approved reindeer ranking
I have compiled the most accurate and up-to-date ranking of Santa’s reindeer.
26 views0 comments
Shiogo Allen
- Jan 17
- 3 min
Top ten best presents for people you hate
Christmas. The winter holiday known around the world. When thinking about gifts for friends and family, you probably want the perfect...
36 views0 comments
Si Taylor
- Jan 12
- 2 min
Chess players rejoice after new update is announced
Even though chess is one of the oldest games in the world, it has been a staple for most board game closets around the world. People have...
33 views0 comments
Avni Koppula
- Dec 16, 2022
- 6 min
10 things my dog wants for Christmas
My dog, Chinni, told me, while we were sitting down for tea the other day, that there are indeed a number of things on her Christmas...
39 views0 comments
Izak Menta
- Dec 9, 2022
- 2 min
Nebraska secedes from the US
The American people were notified early last week that Nebraska is no longer a part of the Union. The White House released a statement on...
70 views0 comments
Vivienne Freeman
- Dec 5, 2022
- 3 min
My personal hero: Joey Chestnut
Abraham Lincoln, Superman, Joey Chestnut. What do these names have in common? All great American heroes. As a red-blooded patriot, my...
53 views0 comments
Alfonso Marone
- Nov 29, 2022
- 2 min
Students protest the tardy sweeps
Recently, students have been informed a tardy sweep will be taking place in-between periods. For the uninformed, the tardy sweep involves...
80 views0 comments
Kat Barlet
- Nov 29, 2022
- 4 min
THE BEABADOOBEE PANDEMIC
A few nights ago, my world fell into a shamble once again. I didn’t expect the day to come when my relationship came to an ultimate end...
75 views0 comments
Vivienne Freeman
- Nov 16, 2022
- 4 min
Art appraiser set to visit ERHS bathrooms
Background After months of reaching out, the artists of Eagle Rock High School are finally getting a voice. An art appraiser has been...
146 views1 comment
Izak Menta
- Oct 20, 2022
- 2 min
Apple puts end to decades-long facade of integrity
"Today, we’re announcing an update like no other..."
100 views3 comments
Victor Pack
- Oct 17, 2022
- 2 min
The BBC stole my article
A few weeks ago, I began writing an article entitled, “5 times Queen Elizabeth was funny”. This was before September 8th (aka the saddest...
142 views0 comments
Si Taylor
- Oct 11, 2022
- 2 min
Kids are put into a cult, the rest will shock you
Recently on the internet, a famous figure going by the name of “Dhar Mann” has been creating content rapidly. He is most known for...
116 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Sep 21, 2022
- 2 min
Mr. Steinorth shocked that nobody does the Pledge of Allegiance
After rebooting a tradition I thought we stopped doing years ago, the Pledge of Allegiance has been brought back as performed by Mr....
274 views1 comment
Sasha Bercovici
- Sep 21, 2022
- 3 min
AMC to release Breaking Bad reboot named Baking Bad
As the groundbreaking and critically acclaimed show, Better Call Saul, comes to a close; Vince Gilligan, creator of both Breaking Bad and...
600 views4 comments
Anabella Caudillo
- Jun 7, 2022
- 3 min
Breaking News: Lorde is a 50 year old man??!!
Disclaimer: This is a fake news article based on the South Park episode “The Cissy,” season 18, episode 3. If you want this to make...
103 views0 comments
Anabella Caudillo
- Apr 6, 2022
- 6 min
1-10, A Celebrity Crush Rating By Yours Truly
Odd statement but, I love celebrities – and I love to judge them.
654 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Apr 6, 2022
- 4 min
Conspiracheese part II: Brieing the school from cheese
NOTICE - This is the second part in a series. If you haven’t read the first one, go here. “One month!” I shouted in disbelief at Mr....
56 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Mar 29, 2022
- 3 min
Conspiracheese: Say Gouda riddance to the Cheese Lobby
Anyone who gets the school’s lunch knows the obscene amount of cheese they stuff into all of their foods. Pizza, cheesy pillows, grilled...
69 views0 comments
Owen Taylor
- Mar 18, 2022
- 4 min
Every boy scout cookie, reviewed
The Boy Scouts have their own line of cookies.
162 views0 comments
Izak Menta
- Mar 16, 2022
- 3 min
Band of Chihuahuas lay siege to post office
TALLAHASSEE—Tensions have been mounting outside of a Postal Office in Tallahassee, Florida, as a local gang of Chihuahuas known as HAM,...
84 views1 comment
Anika Norton
- Mar 4, 2022
- 4 min
How to keep a plant alive from someone who can’t
I can not keep a plant alive for the life of me. It is above my pay grade, beyond my capabilities, and in my opinion, a very overrated...
55 views0 comments
Shiogo Allen
- Feb 24, 2022
- 3 min
Are we being watched? The Chromebook conspiracy
Waking up Monday morning, I hit my alarm and rolled out of bed. After stumbling around, I hit my light switch and rolled up the curtains,...
138 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Feb 17, 2022
- 3 min
Fire alarms go on strike after allegations of unnecessary pulling
The only thing more annoying than the worthless apology of “Please excuse this interruption” over the intercom is the insufferable...
134 views1 comment
Romy Griego
- Feb 3, 2022
- 2 min
Things written in the girl's bathroom
You know in movies how there’s always quirky and funny things written in the girls bathroom, like in “Super Bad” or “Booksmart”? We have...
231 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Feb 2, 2022
- 3 min
Candidate’s polls go up 523% after triple-dog-daring people to vote for him
Edward Durr, a truck driver from New Jersey, shockingly beat an opponent with twenty years of incumbency under his belt, Steve Sweeney,...
63 views0 comments
Lauren Acevedo
- Jan 26, 2022
- 4 min
The zombie apocalypse is coming
Can you hear it? The screams of children, the cries of old ladies struggling to lock their doors and seal their windows tight, the...
296 views2 comments
Sophia Dueñas
- Jan 24, 2022
- 2 min
Chris Pratt to voice Adora in new “She-ra” movie
Rejoice, She-ra fans!
82 views0 comments
Shiogo Allen
- Jan 19, 2022
- 2 min
Dogs or cats?
The previous school year was an interesting one, especially for seventh graders. There was a pandemic going on, and online school was in...
79 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Dec 16, 2021
- 2 min
Activision to start 7 new wars to make more call of duty games off of
Activision has officially announced their plans to start seven new wars around the world to make more Call of Duty games. “We are very...
62 views1 comment
Sasha Bercovici
- Dec 16, 2021
- 3 min
Halloween vs. Christmas: the greatest question of our time
History has had many instances of great philosophers of the time trying to answer great questions of the time. What defines a human? How...
65 views1 comment
