Mr. Steinorth shocked that nobody does the Pledge of Allegiance
After rebooting a tradition I thought we stopped doing years ago, the Pledge of Allegiance has been brought back as performed by Mr....
A student-written, student-edited, and student-produced publication
Sasha Bercovici
- Sep 21
- 3 min
AMC to release Breaking Bad reboot named Baking Bad
As the groundbreaking and critically acclaimed show, Better Call Saul, comes to a close; Vince Gilligan, creator of both Breaking Bad and...
197 views3 comments
Anabella Caudillo
- Jun 7
- 3 min
Breaking News: Lorde is a 50 year old man??!!
Disclaimer: This is a fake news article based on the South Park episode “The Cissy,” season 18, episode 3. If you want this to make...
60 views0 comments
Anabella Caudillo
- Apr 6
- 6 min
1-10, A Celebrity Crush Rating By Yours Truly
Odd statement but, I love celebrities – and I love to judge them.
203 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Apr 6
- 4 min
Conspiracheese part II: Brieing the school from cheese
NOTICE - This is the second part in a series. If you haven’t read the first one, go here. “One month!” I shouted in disbelief at Mr....
50 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Mar 29
- 3 min
Conspiracheese: Say Gouda riddance to the Cheese Lobby
Anyone who gets the school’s lunch knows the obscene amount of cheese they stuff into all of their foods. Pizza, cheesy pillows, grilled...
62 views0 comments
Owen Taylor
- Mar 18
- 4 min
Every boy scout cookie, reviewed
The Boy Scouts have their own line of cookies.
130 views0 comments
Izak Menta
- Mar 16
- 3 min
Band of Chihuahuas lay siege to post office
TALLAHASSEE—Tensions have been mounting outside of a Postal Office in Tallahassee, Florida, as a local gang of Chihuahuas known as HAM,...
76 views1 comment
Anika Norton
- Mar 4
- 4 min
How to keep a plant alive from someone who can’t
I can not keep a plant alive for the life of me. It is above my pay grade, beyond my capabilities, and in my opinion, a very overrated...
48 views0 comments
Shiogo Allen
- Feb 24
- 3 min
Are we being watched? The Chromebook conspiracy
Waking up Monday morning, I hit my alarm and rolled out of bed. After stumbling around, I hit my light switch and rolled up the curtains,...
105 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Feb 17
- 3 min
Fire alarms go on strike after allegations of unnecessary pulling
The only thing more annoying than the worthless apology of “Please excuse this interruption” over the intercom is the insufferable...
112 views1 comment
Romy Griego
- Feb 3
- 2 min
Things written in the girl's bathroom
You know in movies how there’s always quirky and funny things written in the girls bathroom, like in “Super Bad” or “Booksmart”? We have...
223 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Feb 2
- 3 min
Candidate’s polls go up 523% after triple-dog-daring people to vote for him
Edward Durr, a truck driver from New Jersey, shockingly beat an opponent with twenty years of incumbency under his belt, Steve Sweeney,...
57 views0 comments
Lauren Acevedo
- Jan 26
- 4 min
The zombie apocalypse is coming
Can you hear it? The screams of children, the cries of old ladies struggling to lock their doors and seal their windows tight, the...
242 views2 comments
Sophia Dueñas
- Jan 24
- 2 min
Chris Pratt to voice Adora in new “She-ra” movie
Rejoice, She-ra fans!
73 views0 comments
Shiogo Allen
- Jan 19
- 2 min
Dogs or cats?
The previous school year was an interesting one, especially for seventh graders. There was a pandemic going on, and online school was in...
74 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Dec 16, 2021
- 2 min
Activision to start 7 new wars to make more call of duty games off of
Activision has officially announced their plans to start seven new wars around the world to make more Call of Duty games. “We are very...
57 views1 comment
Sasha Bercovici
- Dec 16, 2021
- 3 min
Halloween vs. Christmas: the greatest question of our time
History has had many instances of great philosophers of the time trying to answer great questions of the time. What defines a human? How...
35 views1 comment
Izak Menta
- Dec 16, 2021
- 3 min
5 ways to improve ERHS
Lately, I’ve felt that there are some things missing here at Eagle Rock High, and I haven’t been able to figure out exactly what. But...
83 views0 comments
Owen Taylor
- Dec 7, 2021
- 3 min
Russians infiltrate the Eagle's Scream
Russians. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of them. I try to learn their language to prepare for this article, and I'm bombarded with...
174 views3 comments
Lily Avina
- Nov 17, 2021
- 3 min
The pumpkin spice latte: delight or disaster?
Now that the wondrous season of autumn has come upon us, I feel as though it is time to share my very controversial opinion on a fall...
69 views4 comments
Naomi Ortiz
- Nov 14, 2021
- 3 min
Dos and Don’ts of Disneyland: A Letter from an Angry Patron
I went to Disneyland a couple of weeks ago and was appalled by the nerve some of the other patrons had. How could these horrible people...
89 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Nov 1, 2021
- 2 min
Coronavirus suddenly disappears after running out of Greek letters
In a shocking turn of events today, the Coronavirus has suddenly disappeared, after running out of Greek letters. The deadly virus was...
77 views1 comment
Izak Menta
- Oct 25, 2021
- 3 min
Heavy backpacks cause seismic damage on campus
There’s a new menace on Eagle Rock’s campus. No, it isn’t the DP program, I said a new menace. Even our beautiful, brand new, retrofitted...
227 views6 comments
Eden Greene
- Oct 19, 2021
- 2 min
Raiders vs. Chargers, student vs. teacher, Chromebook vs. chair
Tensions rise between rival Eagles.
172 views0 comments
Daniza Jeanne
- Oct 15, 2021
- 2 min
Words fail to describe how punchable Ben Platt’s face is
AMBER Alert: A 17 going on 28 Caucasian man missing after Rotten Tomatoes destroys Dear Evan Hansen’s chance at being a movie-musical...
194 views0 comments
Malcolm Wade
- Oct 7, 2021
- 3 min
WHOEVER KEEPS STEALING MY CHOCOLATE MILK BETTER SQUARE UP
It was around 11:50 am when I, like most students, was eating lunch at the tables. My mouth was dry from eating cheesy pockets that the...
628 views41 comments
Eden Greene
- Oct 6, 2021
- 4 min
Former Eagle’s Scream employee declared lost at sea
Eno Thomson-Tribe, a former Eagle’s Scream employee best remembered for his proficiency in the sciences and mathematics, was declared...
202 views5 comments
Romy Griego
- Oct 5, 2021
- 4 min
How to Become a Fake Fan of Disney
If you say you’re a Disney fan, you’ve probably been through the interrogation that every true Disney fan gives to one another.
134 views0 comments
Shepherd Lee Williams
- Sep 26, 2021
- 5 min
Network of Cartoons opts for censorship
Today at the Network of Cartoons’ official press conference on content regulation and censorship, many arrived to a nearly empty panel....
97 views1 comment
Eno Thomson-Tribe
- Jun 4, 2021
- 3 min
Volcanic sacrifices for carbon offset: pros and cons
Things have been tough this last year. We’ve endured a global pandemic, an economic meltdown, and a political insurrection. And now that...
61 views0 comments
Levi Stroth
- May 17, 2021
- 4 min
Shallot Shorts: Edition #3
Gourmet satire picked fresh from the vine. Definitely not made of people. Nosirie.
98 views0 comments
Shepherd Lee Williams
- May 3, 2021
- 4 min
Women are leaving me for Minecraft streamers
It started in November. A few of my friends had begun to talk more and more about those Minecraft YouTubers who did the "Minecraft...
3,053 views9 comments
Eno Thomson-Tribe
- May 3, 2021
- 4 min
The time has come to abolish daylight savings
Twice a year, in Spring and Fall, we turn our clocks forward or back an hour to begin and end daylight savings time. But why do we do...
84 views0 comments
Eno Thomson-Tribe
- Apr 26, 2021
- 3 min
Journalist reveals inside secrets
As a highly successful journalist, I get asked questions about my profession a lot. How do you write so well? I don’t know; I guess I...
70 views0 comments
Velouria Perez
- Apr 16, 2021
- 3 min
The chronicles of Ponyo: A rebellious turtle and his frazzled owner
Once upon a time, I lived in an apartment with two fish. Well, the fish aren’t really important here. They died not too long into their...
74 views1 comment
Eno Thomson-Tribe
- Mar 5, 2021
- 3 min
Coyote turf wars, sentient trees, and more: What to expect when we get back to ERHS
We’ve been gone from school since March of last year, and things are definitely different now. While it might look the same from the...
177 views4 comments
Eno Thomson-Tribe
- Feb 5, 2021
- 3 min
Journalist runs out of article ideas
An Eagle’s Scream journalist who has published several previous articles in the paper is out of ideas. After a prolonged period of...
86 views2 comments
Sebastian Ashcraft
- Nov 1, 2020
- 3 min
The Uncelebrated Impacts of Arm Wrestling
With COVID-19 and quarantine, we all, for the most part, miss out on seeing our friends in person. This means no more high-fives,...
94 views0 comments
Lily Hoagland
- Oct 26, 2020
- 3 min
Socks and Sandals are Great — Here's Why
Yeah, I said it. Let me paint a picture for those who have not yet been converted: You’re lounging about one afternoon, perhaps imitating...
85 views0 comments
Owen Taylor
- Sep 10, 2020
- 4 min
Is a hot dog a hamburger? (And other equally important questions)
Yes this is a reupload, I unintentionally deleted all my old articles while messing around with the website.
31 views3 comments
Jessica Lau
- May 8, 2020
- 4 min
My Life as a Short Person
The average height for a woman is 5’3”. I’m 5’1”, and people may think that’s not much of a height difference. However, if I am doing the...
116 views0 comments
Lola Selby
- Apr 30, 2020
- 1 min
Review: “Quarantine,” The Movie.
A poorly veiled rip-off of the 1993 classic Groundhog Day, Quarantine (dir. COVID-19, 2020) is essentially the same movie, with 80% less...
65 views0 comments
Wyatt Zingus
- Apr 23, 2020
- 3 min
Shallot Shorts: Edition #3
Burger King merges with Lockheed Martin Burger King recently announced that they will be beginning a merger with Lockheed Martin, which...
58 views0 comments
Benicio Barbosa
- Apr 22, 2020
- 3 min
CPM Problems are Actually Deep
CPM math is the best thing since sliced bread. It has given us such wonderful problems that the funding provided by Bill Gates can be...
57 views0 comments
