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Food review #4: the turkey, broccoli, and mashed potatoes

Updated: Mar 1

All photos by Charles-Henry Lubatti

A while back, near thanksgiving, I was in the cafeteria line and saw turkey and mashed potatoes resting untouched on the shelves. I decided to try it since it seemed like something interesting, and looked like it could go either way on tastiness. Let me tell you, it was not good at all. I will be very harsh with this because I find it was so bad that it should be removed from the menu. However, between trying it and talking to the cafeteria manager, I learned that it is possible that it should taste better and is in fact only like this because whoever prepared it is inexperienced in scratch cooking.

The mashed potatoes, which were way too sticky and dense, did have a passable texture and consistency for the most part, but they were a tad too fine. They were very watery and a bit acidic and I think they might have been instant mashed potatoes. They were also weirdly sweet but they were warm. As it cooled down while eating, a hint of a steel/metallic taste only got stronger. There was also a very prominent smell which was in no way pleasant.

The gravy was very sticky, like gelatin; it was thick and very sad. The gravy with the mashed potatoes tasted like salty chicken stock in one part of your mouth and water in the other. It gave me an unsettling feeling, almost like nausea, and had a weird saliva-producing tart aftertaste.

The meat was very hard to cut, unnaturally round and way overcooked. The texture was of dry 80 grit sandpaper; it was very salty. At first it tasted like cork, and it had an aftertaste of chicken stock. It was very crumbly and unpleasant. Combined with the gravy, it was like slimy cork, or broken-down wet rubber, and had a very strong salty metallic taste. It also was very stinky and made me a bit nauseous.

All of it together it was awful: watery, with a rough and abrasive cork texture, and was way too salty and metallic. It was even more stinky and nausea inducing. 

Sadly, it does not get much better with the broccoli. It was way undercooked, rather steamed, so very rough, I would even say extremely raw. For some reason, it also had an unsettling smell.

Moving to the milk and grapes, it got much better. The milk was as usual and only tasted better compared to the rest of the meal. The grapes were pretty good, albeit a few sad ones, but were amazing compared to the rest of the meal.

Overall I rate the main course a whopping 0/10 for its terrible smell among other things. I rate the grapes and milk a 9/10 since they were decent and so much better in comparison to the meal.

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