The Eagle's Scream Quarantine: Week 4

Lola

DAILY QUARANTINERARY

Week four. Day unknown.

11 AM. WAKE UP.

Feel guilty about sleeping so late… again.

11:02 AM. WANDER INTO LIVING ROOM IN A TIZZY.

Say good morning to your parents. They will comment that you look distraught. Respond with a half-grunt and wander back to bed.

11:15 AM. CRY. YOU FOOL, YOU DID NOTHING BUT WATCH TV YESTERDAY.

To be fair, they knew what they were doing when they put “Community” on Netflix. It’s only partially your fault.

11:30 AM. TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT THE DAY IS STILL SALVAGEABLE.

Drag yourself out of bed and into the kitchen, where you promise yourself, as usual, to eat healthier today.

11:31-11:45 AM. COFFEE, FACEMASK, BREAKFAST.

It’s the little morning rituals that keep you going.

11:46 AM. SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, IT’S TIME FOR YOUR FIRST SHOWER IN… A WHILE.

This also includes brushing your teeth, doing your hair, etc., not because you’re going anywhere, but because you need to feel a little more human and a little less corpse-y today.

12:00-12:30 PM. REWARD YOURSELF FOR SHOWERING… WITH MORE EPISODES OF COMMUNITY.

One step forward, two steps backward.

12:40-1:15 PM. PUTZ AROUND THE HOUSE AIMLESSLY, SEARCHING FOR PURPOSE.

1:15 PM. SETTLE ON CLEANING THE KITCHEN TO THE SWEET TUNES OF MARIAH CAREY.

This will be the highlight of your day. Why? You can hear your dad singing along in the other room. He knows every. Single. Song. Inside and out.

1:15-2:30 PM. “TIME MELT.”

Blink and realize an hour has passed. Oops.

2:30-5:30 PM. LOSE YOUR EVER-LOVING MIND WHILST WORKING ON YOUR IB PORTFOLIO.

Truth be told, you’ll work hard, but you also tend to spend three hours on one assignment. And in quarantine, there is no one to stop you. Hooray!

5:00 PM. MAKE DINNER.

Side note: In the Selby household, we call stir-fry dinners “musco,” because everything that goes into the stir-fry “must go”: stale vegetables, leftover rice, anything that takes up too much room in the fridge.

6:40 PM. TAKE A QUICK WALK, AFTER REALIZING YOU HAVEN’T BEEN OUTSIDE TODAY.

Realize this is a poor choice. It’s 20 minutes until sundown, it’s raining, and you chose to wear flip-flops.

7:00 PM. ARRIVE HOME. SPEND SEVEN MOONS HUNTING DOWN CHARGERS FOR VARIOUS DEVICES.

First, you scrounge for the laptop charger so you can work on French, because the iPad is dead. Next, get the iPad on a charger and then find a separate charger (and toggle) for the Apple Stylus so you can work on the iPad when it is charged. Consider smashing every electronic device you own with a sledgehammer.

7:20-8:30 PM. TIME FOR DUOLINGO!

Gleefully butcher the language in pursuit of learning, and satiating the waking nightmare that is the Duolingo owl… for now.

8:30-9:40-ish PM. FAMILY ZOOM CALL.

Screaming children, great-uncles holding the camera two inches from their face, the sight of Grandma’s Greasy Shirtless Boyfriend™, aunts drinking giggle ju