Updated: May 20
God-like chess skills, and Instagram anxiety. Enjoy the seventh round of journal entries from our very own staff, giving a closer look into the life of a self-isolated teenager.
Eat, sleep, study, game, repeat. Goodbye.
This week I embarked on my journey to become a chess god. Now, I had played chess before- in my youth I was part of my school’s chess club, although that mostly consisted of my friend Maya and I enacting dramatic scenarios with the chess pieces involving love, cheating, murder, scandal, and betrayal. Little to no actual gameplay happened during the chess club. As fun as this was, it did not help on my journey, considering that computer-generated chess moves do not tend to take into account the worldbuilding aspect of chess.
I can’t believe I’m bored enough to actually start playing chess against a computer, but here we are, I guess. I’m not very good at it. I keep getting clapped by the computer but I strive on in hopes that one day my lack of chess skills will turn into mediocre chess skills. I’m not sure when I will ever use the ability to play chess decently but it beats working hard on homework. Anyways, enough about chess.
Mothers day happened. My family and I zoomed and ate breakfast “together,” which was pretty chill. I miss my grandparents. Even with the loosening restrictions happening my grandpa is immunocompromised (is that the word?) because of a disease he has, so I doubt I can visit them anytime in the foreseeable future. It was nice to talk to them on zoom, though. My grandpa figured out how to set a zoom background so he talked to us while hovering in outer space.
I think everyone’s sleep schedule is messed up at this point, mine included. I still sleep the correct amount of hours, but at the wrong time. I wake up groggy all the time. School is starting to feel like a series of insurmountable tasks, like the sims but worse, which is fine, it could be worse, but at least regular school is a series of insurmountable tasks you get to do with friends.
One of my friends got a new phone though, so I can finally text her! I’m sure she’s been really bored without people. We’re talking about going to the beach when this is over, and I can’t wait. I’ve never like, dreamed about a vacation before, but almost all my dreams take place in some tropical sunny place with beautiful, crystal clear blue water. When I have free time I close my eyes and imagine the feeling of soft sand all around me, water lapping at my feet, and gentle sun on my face. It kind of helps.
I wish I had an actual chess set so I could enact stories without any gameplay happening.
I almost feel like I’m reverting to my childhood. I’m doing stuff I only did as a kid, watching cartoons I watched as a kid, rereading my Calvin and Hobbes books, watching content my friends showed me in middle school. At this rate, I might start playing with dolls again. I sort of wish I hadn’t given away my childhood dollhouse. That thing was the best. Four floors, furniture, a TV/fireplace that played music, four kids, two babies, three dogs, two cats, two parents, a camper van, and a car that played music and honked. My dolls were loaded, apparently.
I’m pretty much done with this entry but dad wants me to tell you that he was an inspirational force today.
“I am your rock. I am your foundation. I am the one that compels you to reach higher, reach prouder.” -my father, yelling from his bedroom.
And with that, I’m going to respectfully ollie outie. Bye!
I really can’t trust myself with Instagram. I can’t believe it took another obsession with Instagram to realize that. Checking once, then scolding myself, putting down my phone. Then checking again after 2.5 seconds because that was definitely enough time for my DMs to fill up, right? Needless to say, my self-loathing cycle was not helped when I discovered the ever-so-terrifying CSUN class of 2020 Instagram account.
Okay, granted, I actually wasn’t that afraid it, to begin with. My curiosity and excitement were actually overwhelming when Miguel first told me about how he’s already met some Portland friends who love Marvel and Star Wars. All you have to do is send in a few photos, a bio of yourself, and wait for them to post about you. Plus there was already a library of eligible CSUN friend-bachelors/bachelorettes in its feed to last me a summer of conversations. I was always really curious about friend-Tinder apps, and this was essentially the friend-Tinder that will determine my social life for the next four years.
Finding the right photos to send was tough. Does this represent that I go to Disneyland? Represents that I’m proud Latino? Am I silly in at least one of them? Are they pretentious? Are the photos with me in a group so it looks like I have friends? Although the bio was a piece of cake (seem interested to make friends, not desperate, and make sure you name your favorite shows).
Soon my post was up, and my follower requests immediately went from 15 to 50. It was quite terrifying. My curiosity wasn’t diminished yet, however. I took the creepy route and wrote a hitlist of every person who I was initially interested in. Criteria listed below:
Star Wars? Marvel? Baby Driver?
Any photos at Disneyland?
Fellow film major?
If not, some type of Humanities?
Down to Earth
Chill (By that, I mean does not take this social endeavor too seriously (so the opposite of me)
I’ve made a drastic mistake.
Oh dear God, I’m looking for my “perfect” friend based on an Instagram post. And if I meet someone who genuinely wants to be friends, who cares if she doesn’t like Star Wars or hasn’t been to Disneyland in 7 years? She’s literally one of the nicest people on planet Earth.