Last year, I made the egregious mistake of clicking the box for “Allow colleges to contact me” on the CollegeBoard website. Ever since, I’ve been paying the price in the form of a flooded inbox.
As someone who already struggles with finding the motivation to go through and clear out my inbox, the number of unread emails suddenly skyrocketing to over 2,000 did not incentivize me to check them.
Despite not checking them often, I have noticed that over the months I have gotten many college emails from the same bunch of colleges, as well as a number of emails that were . . . interesting, to put it simply. This piqued my curiosity, and so I decided that I would go through my college emails—all 2,926 of them—and pick out the most compelling ones.
I’d like to start by talking about the Tulane emails. Oh man, do I love the Tulane emails.
Tulane University is a private research university in New Orleans, Louisiana and is considered one of the top Southern universities. I got my first Tulane email in November of 2021, but the first email that I clicked on was from December. What intrigued me about this later email was the subject line: “🌶🥵Warning: This Quiz Gets a Lil Spicy🥵🌶”. I’m sure you can tell why I was so interested in seeing what this email had to say; no one uses the hot face emoji without wanting to turn some heads. The quiz that the email mentioned was about which kind of hot sauce you are; I got Tabasco sauce.
Another thing I enjoy about the Tulane emails was the little events that they promote, like the New Orleans Kahoot and the Survivor game they played with well-known holiday treats, gradually voting out certain foods over a few weeks.
I had never heard of Tulane before I started receiving emails from them, and I don’t want to go there, but I think that these kinds of emails are cute and showcase a really fun and distinct atmosphere that will make people want to learn more about the school and actually consider applying and attending.
The college that has sent me the most emails has been Case Western Reserve, with a whopping 37 emails. The emails themselves are mediocre at best, but my favorite thing about them is the pictures of the Dean of Undergraduate Admissions, Robert McCullough—or Bob, if you will—, that come at the end of some of them.
Look at him. He looks like Tom Hanks. This image adds a little personality and makes the emails so much better.
For some reason, Ohio really wants me; I’ve also gotten a ton of emails from Xavier, another college in Ohio. Unfortunately for Case Western Reserve University and Xavier, though, I have no interest in moving to Ohio.
As intriguing as some of the college emails I’ve gotten have been, the unfortunate truth is that I have no real interest in reading them or learning about the colleges that send them because of the fact that most of them are out-of-state. I understand that schools want to bring in out-of-state students because these students’ tuition costs are higher, but I have no desire to attend college out of state; I want to stay as close to Los Angeles as possible.
It is a little disheartening to go through my inbox and have very few emails from colleges that I actually have an interest in attending.
And on that note, it’s time for . . . INBOX’S BEST, where I give a quick rundown of the best emails that I haven’t already mentioned.
“Be close to everything, Sophia 🥾” from Willamette
“You seriously might be a polar bear…” from Bowdoin
“Sophia, you may be surprised at your results” from Todd Malone
“You’ve impressed me, Sophia” from West Point
“Energy orbs? Learn more, Sophia” from Oberlin
“What About the Purple Cow? 🐮” from Williams
If you’re getting college emails already, I highly recommend that you go through them to find the funniest ones. This will help you clear out your inbox, keep you aware of the important information colleges send out to potential applicants via emails, and give you a laugh all at once!