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ERHS' Haiku Wall: An Analysis


Image by Mr. Hicks

April is national poetry month! So in honor of this momentous occasion, the English department came up with the idea to set up an interactive Haiku Wall where students can contribute by creating their very own haikus. But coming up with haikus on the fly is no easy feat. For those who aren’t as familiar, a haiku is a three lined poem with five syllables in the first and third lines and seven syllables in the second. As an ultra-critic of all things produced by teenage brains, I thought I’d be the ideal person to analyze the intricate, complex, and nuanced haikus my peers had come up with.


Haiku #1:

I love to Poopy

Can I dookie Mama? 

Is that Allana?


I’d have to give this one a solid 7/10 with a few points being taken off due to the fact that it’s not actually a complete haiku. The second line needs one more syllable, but besides that it’s concise and to the point. Maybe try, “Can I take a dookie Mom” ?? It lacks elaboration and context, who is Allana? Why is she taking a dookie? 


Haiku #2

I walk to Target 

I got food and snacks and cheese

I love all targets


This one definitely hit home for me and the imagery is the shining star. You can really visualize yourself walking through the aisles of a brightly lit target in the frozen section grabbing snacks and cheese. The 5-7-5 format is perfectly done here and there’s a lot of action packed into the small space of three lines. However, it would be ignorant not to note the conflicting tenses, is the author walking or have they already walked to target? And in that case is she getting food, or has the food already been acquired? 


Haiku #3:

I need some starbucks

I need to go to wingstop

I need it to live


Another one that really hit an emotional place for me, I too need starbucks and wingstop to live. The 5-7-5 format is also correct here, but I think this one leaves a lot of unanswered questions. What is the Starbucks order? What would the author get from Wingstop? I must know!! Some room for improvement here. 


Haiku #4:

Mila slays the day

But not more than Irene slays

Everybody slays


This was a tricky one because at a first glance it could appear to many that the last line has 6 syllables. However, rest assured “Ev-ery-bo-dy” has 4 syllables and not 5. This one scores very high for me, because I can confirm the fact that Mila and Irene do in fact slay the day! The repetition of the word “slay” is used to exemplify and convey the idea that as individuals in society our role is not only to slay, but to support and lift up a community that does so. 


Haiku #5:

Eagle Rock Pranksters

Stop pulling the fire alarm

It is annoying


I think this is definitely one that resonates strongly with not only me, but everyone at our school! Seriously, the number of times the fire alarm gets pulled in a year is ridiculous, and yes it is very annoying. If you’re interested in this topic, you can also read our article about the fire alarm here!

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