Updated: Nov 2, 2021
Yeah, I said it. Let me paint a picture for those who have not yet been converted:
You’re lounging about one afternoon, perhaps imitating the mannerisms of a sloth, with your feet tucked into a cozy pair of socks. Then, suddenly, you’re forced to arise from your resting place and go out into the world. Instead of fumbling with the tiresome realities of normal shoes, you effortlessly slip on a pair of sandals.
Upon reaching your destination, you are tragically RIDICULED for your choice of footwear.
I know, I’m just as shocked as you, but this is a recurring experience for those who regularly sport socks and sandals. It truly baffles me how people can be so callous.
Journalism staff writer and passionate socks and sandals hater, Owen Taylor, responds to the issue: “Socks and sandals… It's like you're too lazy to put on actual shoes so you just grabbed the thing that was fastest to put on. I understand wearing sandals, but if you're gonna do that, just take your socks off first. Are you really that lazy? You can't waste five extra seconds of your precious little life to care about anything?”
Here’s where you’re wrong, Mr. Taylor:
Socks and sandals exude an undeniable harmony reminiscent of classic combinations like salt and pepper and pencil and paper. They’re truly two peas in a pod. You have all of the benefits of sandals, with the warmth of a regular shoe. “Work smarter not harder” perfectly illustrates what the socks and sandals lifestyle is all about.
It is drastically easier to envelope your foot in a sandal than a laced shoe. Even small children can recognize that straps, buckles, and zippers are far less complicated forms of fastening your footwear than grappling with tangled string. However, do not mistake choosing convenience in the form of sandals as idleness. Time is extremely valuable and the time that you waste struggling to secure your shoes to your feet adds up, my friend.
But, alas, sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to have your foot fully exposed as you go about your day. That’s where socks come in to dissolve your dilemmas.
Having an extra layer of protection and warmth is nothing short of revolutionary. Normal shoes can feel like your feet are slowly suffocating. When you wear socks with your sandals, you are protecting your feet from the elements whilst maintaining breathability and comfort. A breath of fresh air, if you will.
Unfortunately, we will never be able to hear Pablo Neruda’s opinion on the matter, but we can take an educated guess that he was on the side of good based on his infamous poem, “Ode to My Socks.” The piece lifts up an unfortunately underappreciated object and celebrates them for all their beauty.
Critics point to style as the main reason they don’t partake, but the versatility of socks counters this argument. Socks decorated with stripes, staplers, cheesecake, and even blobfish are at your fingertips thanks to ever-improving technology. Frankly, if you can’t make socks and sandals work, you’re the problem.
Not to mention there are even more possibilities when you take into account choice of sandal. Flip flops, birkenstocks, and dad sandals (you know what I’m talking about) create endless combinations when selected in conjunction with a complementary pair of socks.
Those who practice socks and sandals are on a quest to achieve the optimal footwear experience. The goal is not to conform to society’s superficial standards. If you have never experienced the glory that is socks and sandals, I HIGHLY encourage you to give it a try. Socks and sandals take your feet on a toasty, comfy vacation with the added bonus of self-expression. And to any sock-sandal-haters, I ask you to kindly reconsider your shoe philosophy. We need to deconstruct the stigma around socks and sandals ASAP.