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Drowning - a collection of poems

Art by Jessica Calaguas


i wish i was a falling star

so i could go to space,

and i wish i was a blue jay

so i could find a dream to chase

and i wish i was a cloud

so i don't need a place to stay

and i wish i was a butterfly

so i could fly away.

fly and float and fall

and live

that’s all i’ll ever need to see

how beautiful a life could be

to be fulfilled is to be free


sometimes i sit and think

and sometimes i just sit and stare

i blink and suddenly

the sun falls down

and all around

i start to drown

in thoughts i thought

id never think

i think about the world revolving

im evolving

who am i gonna be

i guess i'll see

it’s day-by-day

but now i'm thinking

and i'm sinking

in those thoughts i thought

id never say


i fell asleep under the moon

and woke up to the sounds of birds

they were humming happy melodies

and singing songs i've never heard

i think i had a dream last night

where i was sitting on a silver throne

and loudly shared opinions

about people i had never known

the dawn turned into dusty doom

the day was like a glitching screen

that twisted lines and skipped the ends

of movies i had never seen

and feelings that i've never felt

and words im never gonna say

and lives im never gonna live

and books i'll never get to read

and stories that i can't perceive

and fantasies i can't believe

and dreams.

i'll never get to dream

my visions of bestowing queens,

and finally becoming me

and being who i'll never be


words are like hurricanes

and avalanches

and tidal waves.


scribbles on a piece of paper

lines and dots and dashes.


i wish i could use them

shape them and

form them

translate my feelings into


but i can't make them work

instead of drifting to the ground they


and letters explode


that can heal better than a pill

and love better than a hug

and hurt worse than a knife


often I feel like I’m drowning in them.

they fill my head like a river

sentences and letters

dripping into every crevice of my brain

flooding all my thoughts

and soon

words will start to overflow

and my words drip around me

pooling up and

puddling and

i don’t know how to swim in them and


i’m sinking in



everything will be ok

you say

sitting in the car

staring at the stars

and hoping that they don't fall down

looking at the town

seeing all the lights like

brightness in the night.

i think i'm gonna drown

in a pile of thoughts that

i'm always gonna know but

i'm never gonna say.

feeling like i'm falling

but the falling turns to flying

and that's when i know that it will

be ok


thank you to the people that

are always there and

always care and

how can i explain

how much you mean to me and

help me

save me from myself

and thank you more than

words can say

you’re the one that saves me when

i'm drowning

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